


Sickness ≠ Death

by Kaysigns



Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Deceit | Janus Sanders Being an Idiot, Drider!Roman, Ghoul!Logan, M/M, Multi, Naga!Janus, Sick Character, Sick Fic, vampire!patton - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaysigns/pseuds/Kaysigns
Summary: Virgil is sick. No one knows what to do when a human gets sick, but Logan is willing to sit through his boyfriends' panic as he reads articles about it.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton (Sanders Sides), DLAMP
Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746241
Comments: 15
Kudos: 443





	Sickness ≠ Death

**Author's Note:**

> Suggested by Nichts I'm pretty sure (I forgot to write their name down next to my note). I love me a good sick fic

Why was it so warm? Virgil groaned as he sat up, his head feeling like it was spinning. Roman was snoring to his left, his arms draped over Patton’s torso. Logan and Janus were already up by the looks of things.

Virgil stood up, stumbling and nearly falling. Weird. His head was even foggier than before, and he felt like he was burning up and freezing at the same time. A shudder passed through his body as he walked down the hall.

Janus and Logan were in the kitchen, talking as they prepared breakfast. “G’morning.” Virgil mumbled, confused at how much his throat ached with that word alone. Logan immediately froze, eyes staring down at his eggs as he sniffed the air.

“You smell off.” He spoke bluntly, turning around to face him, looking him up and down. He placed the back of his hand gently against Virgil’s forehead. “Well that’s unusual, your forehead is extremely warm.”

Janus’s eyes widened for a moment, before blinking and shaking his head. “Well he can’t be dying.”

“It’s probably just a fever, I’ll be fine.” Virgil served himself some breakfast, trying to avoid the concern in both Logan and Janus’s eyes. Janus clicked his tongue awkwardly.

“Ah yes...a fever. I definitely know what that is.”

“Oh do you now?”

“Well of course.”

“Then what is—” Virgil was interrupted by a coughing fit, putting down his plate with a clatter onto the counter as he curled into himself. The two immediately scooted closer, Logan patting him on the back as he coughed, Janus scanning him as if trying to figure out what was happening.

Once the coughing fit was done, Janus stuck his tongue out for a moment, confusion written on his face. “What the fuck was that?”

“Just coughing, it’s fine.”

“I believe you should go lie down, Virgil.” Logan began dragging him over to the couch, despite his weak attempts at escape.

“I suppose coughing is a human thing you haven’t told me about?” Janus asked as he followed them into the living room.

“Do nagas not cough?”

“Well, snakes are incapable of coughing, so it would make sense.” Logan covered Virgil with a blanket, to which Virgil stubbornly pulled it off and tried to sit back up. His head began to spin again and he simply ended up collapsing back onto the couch, mumbling, “Alright, whatever.”

“Hmm...what do we do when a human’s sick?” Logan muttered to himself, rubbing his chin as he headed to their bedroom to grab his phone.

“Wait, you’re  _ sick? _ ” Janus looked startled, eyes blown wide as he stared at Virgil.

“I mean, yeah. That’s what a fever is.” Virgil coughed a bit, his eyes squinting closed for a moment. He heard Janus begin spewing out curse words under his breath, and when he opened his eyes up fully, he had a snake tail draped over his legs and a naga clinging to his arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Just don’t talk.” Janus’s body was trembling slightly, his voice laced with worry.

“Dude, this isn’t a big deal—”

“I said don’t talk!”

Logan came back in mumbling through an article he had pulled up, with Patton and Roman trailing after him. “What’s going on?” Roman asked sleepily.

“Virgil’s dying!”

“I’m just sick—”

“He’s dying?” Roman scrambled over to Virgil’s side. Virgil sneezed, wiping his nose before opening his mouth to respond. But he was already too late, Roman had taken his hand and had begun shushing him, fear in his eyes. Patton was about to join them when Logan grabbed him by the shoulder and held him back, still reading his article.

“There’s no need to panic, humans can get sick without dying.” Roman and Janus weren’t listening, they were instead debating over their different beliefs in how to care for a dead body. Logan sighed, asking a still clearly shaken-up Patton to make some soup.

“—and humans would usually chop off the head, but I find that rather rude, so—”

“As interesting as this conversation is, could you  _ not _ act like I’m already dead? Also I’m not a snake or a spider, so don’t chop my head off or  _ eat me _ after I die!” Roman blinked, looking down at Virgil with big scared spider-puppy eyes.

“But you’re sick!”

“Sick doesn’t mean death.”

“They are likely reacting this way because they have lived in the wilderness their whole lives, as well as have more animalistic instincts.” Logan pointed out, pulling out a thermometer from the cabinet and sticking it in Virgil’s mouth. “If a snake or spider gets sick in the wilderness, that does more often than not mean it will die. Their concern is extreme, but understandable.”

“So he’s not dying?” Roman asked hopefully.

“No, according to Google, with rest and medication, his state should improve in a few days.” Janus hummed, quickly detaching himself from Virgil’s arm, his cheeks red and embarrassment clear in his eyes.

“Ah yes, I knew that. I simply wanted to mess with Roman.”

“You keep saying whatever makes you feel better, Jan.”

Logan instructed the two on how fevers work and what they had to do to treat it. Patton came in with a big bowl of canned soup, singing quietly to himself to get rid of any residual fear he still had.

After Virgil ate, they all curled up together on the couch, the warm-blooded people curled up next to Virgil, Roman lying at Virgil’s side playing with his hair, and Janus wrapped around and over everyone. Logan had placed a towel on Virgil’s head, as well as called Thomas to let him know Virgil couldn’t come to work.

As Patton and Janus fell asleep and Logan began drifting off, Virgil closed his eyes, his body feeling like it was on fire in more ways than one. He turned to Roman, who had been smiling calmly at him while twisting his hair around and between his fingers. Then a question came to mind.

“Would you guys actually eat me if I died?”

“Only if you wanted us to, my love.” Roman purred. Virgil wasn’t really sure how to process that answer, so he simply shrugged and closed his eyes again. He didn’t have to think about that for now. He was content simply lying there surrounded by their care.

**Author's Note:**

> Roman and Janus are idiots when it counts and soft when needed and that's all that really matters


End file.
